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Ignore the Sirens

February 7, 2011

Remember those fire drills that everyone seemed to welcome with open arms back in grade school. Your teacher would be prattling on about why you should give a damn about math and, you can’t seem to stop wondering why Bugs Bunny never seems to make that turn at Albuquerque. She hands out a works sheet full of multiplication tables and just as you finally come to terms with dropping out of elementary school… EH EH EH EH! The fire alarm goes off! THANK GOD! Wishes really do come true. Ms. Teacher Lady wrangles up all the little people she can find, does a head count and then frantically directs you toward what you consider extra recess… Those were the days. The days when fire alarms actually worked…

The other night I had a very annoying encounter with a very late fire alarm. After a night full of super bowl fun and frenzy, I eventually reconcile my manhood from a devestating 31-25 loss to the packers (go steelers?), stuck a band-aid on my pride and, went to bed at about 1 a.m….
EH EH EH! At around four in the morning the F*****G fire alarm goes off… There aren’t very many sounds more annoying than a fire alarm that early in the morning. But, at four a.m., I’m pretty sure 72 virgins dressed in white pajamas singing Hail Mary over a halleluja chorus would make me want to punch a puppy.

Contrary to popular belief, getting up and saving your ass isn’t the first thing that pops into your sleep deprived little mind when you see the big red 4:00 am on your clock radio. It’s more along the lines of “shoot me now (or who ever is making that noise).” So, for about twenty minutes I try and ignore it and almost successfully fall back to sleep before I’m woken up by a roomate who is a bit more fire alarm savvy than I… I get up grab a jacket and leave my apartment, eventually. We get half way down the stairs when we meet a group of girls freaking out and screaming “ITS A REAL FIRE !!! THE COPS SAID GET YOUR BOOKS!!!” the first thing that went through my head was “If there’s a fire then why the hell am I saving my books?… WHAT ABOUT MY TV?!?!?!”

Don’t worry guys I made the right decision. I saved my laptop but, threw a blanket over my tv just in case the sprinklers decided they wanted to join the fun. Smart, right? I later realized that unplugging the television is also a necessary step in preserving it if sprinklers go off but, that’s beside the point….

This story is getting a bit long so I’ll start wrapping things up. We left the apartment, sat in my car, fell asleep, two hours later the guys in the big red truck said it was ok to go back in… THE TV WAS SAFE!!! Thank God. Just in case anyone was wondering, my building wasn’t on fire. The building behind me was the one with the issue. All I know is that the sprinklers went off and there was a smoky tinge to the air so hopefully nothing serious happened.

So,there IS a point to this long drawn out never ending story, I swear. From the time we’re kids running around the school yard, to the time we get to the big bad grown up world, we get pretty desensitized to some very important things (like fire alarms). We get older and get our independence and want to do what we want when we want. We get further from the nest and the little things we learned back in grade número uno just kind of fade away… There’s a lot we star ignoring (like our parents) but, right now I’m talking about safety protocol stuff. Fire alarms start being ignored, we don’t walk to the cross walk to cross the street, some of us forget our seatbelts and, lots of other really small things that kept us out of life threatening situations.

What other kinds of things do you ignore that your parents spent endless amounts of time drilling into your head? Leave a comment and tell me a story…

Ohkami’s Voice

Don’t Stop Howling…

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