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Santa Goes Green?

December 21, 2010

A friend informed me earlier that I was getting coal for Christmas… There’s nothing new about that. I can’t remember why she felt the need to inform me of this but I think I said something “mean”. Anyway, I’ve gotten coal before. Apparently, getting coal is supposed to be a bad thing. I don’t think so. Coal is totally amazing. you can do so much with it. You can draw with it, start a fire, keep a fire going, you can throw it AND catch it, you can power a steam boat or an old-timey train, and you can eventually turn it into a diamond. If i got a gift like that I’d be psyched. You can’t do that with an iPad. Have you ever tried to start a fire with a digital camera? I would imagine it being really hard.

I half jokingly make my case and she decides to suck all the fun out of everything I’m saying by pointing out that “It kills mother earth.”.  Almost immediately, my face twists with agony in reaction to her unnecessarily placed  declaration of environmental consciousness. I guess she woke  up this morning and decided to hug a tree. Don’t get me wrong, I’m all for recycling and driving hybrid cars but, I didn’t need the science lesson. So, to demonstrate how much I care, I suggest that she get in touch with Santa Clause because he seems to be a prominent coal distributor. And now she thinks “Santa is gross”.

Maybe Santa is gross. He hands out coal which apparently kills mother earth. “Gross” may not be the most appropriate word for this situation. We’ll go with “environmentally unsound”. Where does he get this coal from anyway? I don’t think there are any coal mines  in the North Pole but, I could be wrong. What do you think…

Is Santa gross? Does he care about the environment? Should Santa’s workshop go green?

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2 Comments leave one →
  1. December 23, 2010 11:01 am

    At the risk of alienating future bloggers, I would like to say something. It is my firm belief that if all the coal, oil, and methane were suddenly to be burned at once, the Earth would do what it has been proven to do for billions of years. It would survive. It would take all that raw energy, all that broken down matter, collect it, mold it into usabe form and then plant it there in the ground for future generations to use.

    In that point, I would like to say that my belief is almost unshakable.

    Now whether humans would be the recipients, the future generation of use, remains to be seen. Dinosaurs once dominated the Earth. They are gone. Evidence clearly indicates they were here and now they are gone. So are several species of early man, elephants. apes, fish, and birds. They are all gone.

    Yet the Earth remains.

    Man might kill man, but man will not kill the Earth It was built to collect, recycle, and be available for the next generation of life to use.

    Science really doesn’t suggest otherwise.

    Those are my thoughts.

    http://timkeen40.wordpress.com

    • December 23, 2010 11:52 am

      Thanks for thse words of wisdom Tim… I’ll be sure to put that in my next letter to Santa. Maybe man can’t kill the earth but, there’s nothing about global destruction by magical bearded figures with tiny pointy-eared minions.

      thank for the comment Tim but try lightening up a bit next time… Too much science.

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